Remember, Programming is a fucking science.

 http://codeulate.com/?p=7

Advertising Vs. Reality


Sorry but I’ve got a slight problem viewing this Online offering without some sort of sarcasm. With the exception of my wife, I really don’t think women like this exist in the wild. First of, who the fuck puts on that much makeup just for sex? I mean yeah maybe some red gloss makeup, but jesus this models is practically caked with Photoshop!!! and definately had some minor image transformations done ( tummy tuck click & drag FTW ).

Finally, truth be told… Who the hell is stupid enough to fall for this? “Hey I’ve got no social skills, I am probably scared of women in general, but this advertisement suggest I might be fucking this girl before the night is through.”

I am generally a soft-spoken person, to the point where people have a hard time hearing me. Mostly I am this way because I had a number of ENT infections that scarred my vocal cords, combined with 10 years of smoking off and on, and then a past habit of drinking whiskey. So talking at a normal level hurts.

Still, I know how to shout from my stomach and have used it effectively as an emergency supervision tool while in the military. An example would be when I caught one of my troops driving in a bad location with their window down. When I mean my troops, I considered these dumb sons of bitches practically as my children and spent a good amount of time making sure they remained unfucked. From what I understand, I scared the entire vehicle’s crew by my powers of communication that windows were to remain raised at all fucking times and that they were to remain fucking closed until we arrived at our destination or this airmen ceased to be my problem.

It was often said that some of the things you learn in the military world, will carry over to the civilian sector. So far I have yet to be presented with the need or capability of deploying air to air or air to ground munitions against certified hostiles targets. But I have used my extensive janitorial experience as a Airmen basic from time to time, my lawn care experience has helped as well, and the all important hurry up and wait has come in handy as well.

For perhaps the third time in my civilian life, I’ve gotten a clear release to use my communication skills again.

My new neighbors are pretty much losers. Specifically as for why they are losers, is that in the near year of their residence next door… I’ve over heard them yelling at each other. This mostly has consisted of the woman crying and the guy whining and taunting her. Perhaps she deserves this treatment or there is more to the story… Honestly I don’t care. After months of this going on, it came down to 3 simple choices:

1: Call the police.
I’ve got a pretty good relationship with my police district as I’ve reported a small swath of real crimes in my neighborhood over the last two years and I actually know the armory tech after debating working at this specific district as weapons smith. To the point, they deal with so much shit on a hourly basis, that the last thing they want is another disturbing the peace call.

2: Talk to our neighbor.
This seems like the rationale response, but from my own experience… It’s often not that productive, ending with the couple basically telling you to fuck off.

3: Explain to your neighbor to be considerate of others.
Naturally as the last option, I chose this one. It consists of the following steps. Get a glass of water, take a couple sips. Clear you’re throat. Approach the window facing you’re neighbors property to which you can hear them.

Will you two, “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” It is important to note that the beginning is there by implication.

Response:
Dead silence for the last two days now.

My opinion:
I am moving out of here in 30 days time, for the next 30 days I have the firm belief that these two are going to be pretty goddamn quiet.

Possible side-effects:
None. They could call the police, but note choice 1. They could file a report and most likely would. The problem with filing a report is that our neighbors would then have to explain why I introduced myself into their loser fest. I believe that people deserve the right to express themselves however they feel, but I do not believe this right of expression should be forced upon me in my own home.


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

http://yearzero.nin.com/survivalism/survivalism_hi.mov

Lady says “d00d, he went political”,  “like majorly”

Louis CK has been like this pop-up into my browsing experience radar, then dissappear kind of thing for over a year.  The guy is a genius with ridiculing popular topics like homosexualaity and priest child molestation…so maybe I am biased to this latest public work: